Cry.
I'm going to cry until my head explodes
Until my heart does not feel the painful twinge of breathing
When my ears ring with sadistic satisfaction
Masochistic misery.
Yes, Tonight I'm going to cry.
It's amazing how a few words can make someone feel so insignifcant. Which is odd for me considering I'm the person who is basically copywrote "the only person who can make you feel something is YOU."
Guess I'm a hypocrite.
People truly don't understand the meaning behind the things they say. Maybe they didn't mean it negatively. Maybe it was just the way I took it. Maybe there was no message or reading between the lines.
But it still hurts.
Sometimes, you just have to break down and feel what you're going to feel. I've been comatose for such a long time the overwhelming surge of emotions is just too much to take. See, I'm a bottler. I bottle things up because I don't know how to talk about my problems. So they sit there...carbonated. Then something happens and my heart shakes the bottle a little more. And then every little puff of CO2 comes exploding out like mentos in a diet coke. I feel as if everytime I open my heart I place a huge burden on others shoulders. I've had the infamous elephant sitting and pressing on my cardiovascular system for years and it's unbelievably difficult to make him move.
I've gone leaps and bounds in the past 8 months. Or I have to believe that I have. There are just some things that I want to happen that I can't muster up the patience to wait for. I need something amazing to happen. Please don't think I'm ungrateful for what I already cherish so closely. I deeply appreciate the small things in life. I saw a beautiful sunset yesterday, a big bug-eyed baby, my wonderful friends. And that means everything to me. But sometimes I just feel like I am not enough.
School starts tomorrow.
Peace, love, and jell-rolls.
MissMeredith.
I'm going to cry until my head explodes
Until my heart does not feel the painful twinge of breathing
When my ears ring with sadistic satisfaction
Masochistic misery.
Yes, Tonight I'm going to cry.
It's amazing how a few words can make someone feel so insignifcant. Which is odd for me considering I'm the person who is basically copywrote "the only person who can make you feel something is YOU."
Guess I'm a hypocrite.
People truly don't understand the meaning behind the things they say. Maybe they didn't mean it negatively. Maybe it was just the way I took it. Maybe there was no message or reading between the lines.
But it still hurts.
Sometimes, you just have to break down and feel what you're going to feel. I've been comatose for such a long time the overwhelming surge of emotions is just too much to take. See, I'm a bottler. I bottle things up because I don't know how to talk about my problems. So they sit there...carbonated. Then something happens and my heart shakes the bottle a little more. And then every little puff of CO2 comes exploding out like mentos in a diet coke. I feel as if everytime I open my heart I place a huge burden on others shoulders. I've had the infamous elephant sitting and pressing on my cardiovascular system for years and it's unbelievably difficult to make him move.
I've gone leaps and bounds in the past 8 months. Or I have to believe that I have. There are just some things that I want to happen that I can't muster up the patience to wait for. I need something amazing to happen. Please don't think I'm ungrateful for what I already cherish so closely. I deeply appreciate the small things in life. I saw a beautiful sunset yesterday, a big bug-eyed baby, my wonderful friends. And that means everything to me. But sometimes I just feel like I am not enough.
School starts tomorrow.
Peace, love, and jell-rolls.
MissMeredith.
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